


Hush the Red Hood

by BJW, HanFai



Category: DC Comics, Hush - Fandom, Red Hood - Fandom
Genre: Comedy, Jokes, M/M, homophobe Red Hood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 19:45:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5017939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BJW/pseuds/BJW, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanFai/pseuds/HanFai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hush and Red Hood run into each other at Bruce Wayne's party, at the bar. This is a short story that is mostly rubbish. All the characters in this story are characters we (hanfai and FoolsofStardom_BJW) love dearly and that gives us the right to make fun of them. We are not intending to offend anyone by any of our (somewhat offensive) jokes. As always feed back is appreciated. Feel free to give us any ideas to continue the story, or other stories, rubbish or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hush the Red Hood

**Author's Note:**

> This does not exactly fit into the Hush story continuity I'm writing, but I wanted to get this little joke/story I made with the help of FoolsofStardom_BJW, out there.  
> This is just all making fun of the characters whom we love and sometimes the fans' interpretations of them, (whom we also love). ;-) This fic might get gay.

Hush stood on the sidelines at the Wayne Manor party. He patiently waited for the right moment to make the toast that would publicly humiliate the unsuspecting, Bruce Wayne. He was getting a drink at the bar when someone came up next to him to get themselves a drink. He instantly recognized him as the infamous Red Hood to both heroes and villains.  
“So, you're the Red Hood, huh? What brings you to Wayne's party? You're not planning on crashing it, are you? Because I was here first.”  
“Relax, Hush-a-bye-baby. I'm only here for the superb, Italian bread sticks.” Then turning to the bartender, “I'll have an effin' bloody Mary.”  
Hush frowned. “You're the f***ing Red hood. Why can't you just say the real thing?”  
“Unlike you, Hush, I don't have to prove my bad-assery. And by the way, it's Red Hot Hood to you.”  
“So... you think you're hot, huh?”  
“Why else do you think I wear this helmet, Hush? It's to keep all my enemies straight.”  
“Why don't you take off that helmet? It must be really hot in there.” Hush said, suggestively.  
“Listen, Hush. I know you have a sick obsession with my old man, but I didn't think you'd stoop so low as to participate pedophilia.”

Hush frowned and was planning his witty remark to try and fluster the Red Hood, (In the same way he had just been flustered). When the lights in the house went down, an announcer stood in the spotlight. "Give it up for the man who puts 'sex' in sexy. Dick Graysoonn!"  
Hush and Jason both started clapping. Jason, slightly less enthused.  
"That's your brother, isn't it?"  
"Yes, the one I fondly call, 'Mr. Twinkle Toes'."  
" 'Twinkle Toes'?"  
"Yes, and on other days, when I'm feeling particularly sane, I call him 'Sir Fairy Dust'. You know, because he's so bright and cheery....Also because he likes covering himself in shimmering make up."  
The music started playing. Hush wasn't sure what to expect next. Dick started dancing, moving his hips around and touching his skimpily dressed body. Hush and Red Hood looked at each other, both feeling slightly uncomfortable as Dick danced around and sang an old love song. Then goes down and does the splits.  
"Does he always sexually objectify himself, like this?" Hush said, looking more uncomfortable.  
*sigh* "Yeah. I tried telling him how gay it looks. And that 'manly' men don't do these things. But what do I know? I'm just his little-bigger brother. It's not entirely his fault though. You see, he was born a girl and his parents wanted a boy, so they gave him a sex change at a very young age. They named him 'Dick' as an attempt of brain washing him into believing he was the son they always wanted." Hush looked horrified. "What? For real?"  
Red Hood looked at him. "Probably. But I lie so frequently that I forget which story was true and which one I made up. You know how it is? If you tell a lie long enough, people will believe it. I find myself believing my own lies that I tell people sometimes, that is until I revisit my diary and get some of the facts straight. But even then, my diary can't be trusted. I lie in my diary half the time, too."  
".....That's funny...I lie in my diary, too. I knew there was something I liked about you. I practically feel like we're bosom friends already."

**Author's Note:**

> We will add to this later.


End file.
